You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
