Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Screwed.edu
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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