I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
