We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
