if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i think im in europe. pls send help
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
