I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
