We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
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I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
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to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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