She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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