"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
