yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
