do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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