My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my shit smells like andre
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
