I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize