I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
