Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
