if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
