dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
