I saw his package. It spoke to me.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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