I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
