i may or may not be watching the land before time
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
