Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
