Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Damn victory sex feels great
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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