so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
