i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
