evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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