just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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