A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I smell stomach acid.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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