i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
