You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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