Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
