I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just want to make out with him forever
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
