I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
