why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
