Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
