Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
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