Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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