and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
