after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
