Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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