Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
