i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
