My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
