how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
