What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
