grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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