Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
