her vagine was all disorganized.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
