but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I will pee on everything he values.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
