it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
