a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
