he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
