So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
