idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
