..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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