There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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