Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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