So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
