Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Randomize
