Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
