I bet he comes in French.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
